Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[Machine Man]

granted but you get rabies instead

I wish my mind would calm down

[edelric]

grantd but ur brain turns in to sea water and dribbles out ur ears

i wish for cake

[Machine Man]

granted but its pink and covers any who eat it in pink

I wish I had a robot to pilot

[edelric]

granted but its only an inch tall

i wish for a bookcase

[Machine Man]

Granted but its termite infected and the termites spread into everything else you have thats made of wood.

I wish I could speak to lemons

[edelric]

granted but now all u can say is "lemon lemon lemon"

i wish for a harconan v2 vladamere

[Machine Man]

granted but it comes seperated into parts and missing the trigger and the barrel

I wish I had a shotgun

[rainsongphoenix]

Granted, but it only shoots out flags that say "bang!"

I wish I had food...

[Machine Man]

granted but its poisoned and you puke everywhere!

I wish I had invisibility

[rainsongphoenix]

Granted, but then you are unable to eat, drink or pick up things anymore...

I wish the weather was nice

[Machine Man]

granted but its never nice weather where you are

I wish i had nigh invulnerability

[edelric]

granded but that means that even water doesn't affect u so u start to smell really bad so no one wants u near them

i wish for pizza

[rainsongphoenix]

Granted, but it's a stupid flavor - like hamburger pizza (seriously, why buy a hamburger flavoured pizza? Buy a real hamburger instead!)

I wish i was better at sewing

[Machine Man]

granted but you eventually turn into a sewing machine and break down

I wish I wish I could control the elements!

[borgieman]

Granted but they turn on you.

I wish I could raise the dead.